Under the Doctor

Grandfather kept chickens - lots of them. He was also a bit of a rogue; clever really, liked a good joke, a smart idea, or a problem needing to be solved. When us grand kids called around he'd wet himself laughing when he asked us all the schoolboy jokes. All those obvious ones like: why'd the chicken cross the road? If we said, "To get to the other side," he'd say, "Nah, silly, he was running away from the policeman who wanted to arrest him for using fowl language!"

He loved us, and he loved his chooks - probably more than us. We always had a great time feeding them and collecting the eggs. Of course, Grandfather had names for all of them, knew where they were likely to lay their eggs and all their idiosyncrasies. There was 'Gardener' who was always raking the ground in the middle of the yard. 'Chatterbox' never ever seemed to stop clicking in a mournful sort of way. It was natural that the big red rooster would be called 'Show- off' because his chest was constantly puffed up. The Rhode Island Red seemed to say, "Do it this way, Do it this way" so she was the 'Teacher'. And the one called 'Doctor' was always investigating the feathers of other birds. They were truly free-range chickens and we found their eggs all over the place but Grandfather had also provided them with their own nesting boxes, if they chose to use them, which sometimes they did.

When the sad day arrived and the old boy finally took his place in the farmyard in the skies we were summoned to hear his Will read out. There were five of us grandchildren and sure enough he'd left something for each of us. But in true style it was not all straight forward. We had to solve his problem first. Mine read:

Dear Grandson Johnny, mate,
I really think you're great;
Despite your acne spots
I've always loved ya lots.
We've had a lot of good times
An' I know how you love rhymes
An' I bet you're thinking now
'Bout me last and final bow
An' what now has he left me.
There's a problem do ya see
Which you must work out first,
But never fear the worst
It's really not that hard.
Just go out into the yard
Where we often played our tricks
And carefully watch me chicks.
Now you know all their names
And nearly all their games.
So all that you must do is
Watch each one do her biz
In the place that she loves best
Which, of course, is on her nest;
And one soon you will find where
I've hidden just for you there
A really super treasure
Which 'll no doubt give you pleasure:
A token from your Grandad
Just special now for you lad.

And so it was that after a bit of searching finally found what Grandad had left me — his gold watch, hidden in a box under The Doctor.

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