It's early in the morning,
But you're already late,
So gulp down half your breakfast,
And be on the bus by eight.
C'os you're on a tour of Europe,
Ten countries in five days,
From bloody cold Britannia,
To Italy's sweltering haze.
It's another darn cathedral,
Built in thirteen eighty two.
Take photos by the dozen,
While looking for the 'loo.
One evening you pay dearly
For a local ethnic treat.
Another costs you nothing
Unless you want to eat.
There's pit stops at cute cafés
For fromage and salami
And tiny cups of coffee.
It's enough to drive you barmy.
The guide is from Albania
And tells you lots of stuff
You really do not want to know;
It's just a lot of guff!
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Each night you sink a couple
And then you hit the sack
At nine o' bloody clock
C'os at eight you're on the track.
You've washed your socks and knickers
And hung them in the 'loo.
They're still damp in the morning,
But what else can you do?
There's a castle to tramp over
With a chateau down the way
In another bloody country
You went through yesterday.
So come on you O A P's,
Click on Trafalgar's site
And spend your excess dollars
On a twenty hour flight.
Go see the sights of Europe,
Like Paris, Venice, Rome
With forty other fogies;
No wonder I love home.
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